Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Southern women......


After a conversation with a friend lately, she sent me the following email about southern women.  


I want to share it with you along with some thoughts of my own.




So here you go.....

"For my mother, being Southern means handwritten thank-you notes, using a rhino horn’s worth of salt in every recipe, and spending a minimum of twenty minutes a day in front of her makeup mirror so she can examine her beauty in “office,” “outdoor,” and “evening” illumination. It also means never leaving the house with wet hair. Not even in the case of fire. Because wet hair is low-rent. It shows you don’t care, and not caring is not something Southern women do, at least when it comes to our hair.
This is less about vanity than self-respect, a crucial distinction often lost on non-Southerners. When a Southern woman fusses over her appearance, it does not reflect insecurity, narcissism, or some arrested form of antifeminism that holds back the sisterhood. Southern women are postfeminism. The whole issue is a nonstarter, seeing as Southern women are smart enough to recognize what works—Spanx, Aqua Net—and wise to the allocation of effort. Why pretend the world is something it isn’t? Better to focus on what you can control (drying your hair) and make the best of what you have. Side note: Southern women do not capitalize on their looks to snag men, though that often results. The reason we Southern women take care of ourselves is because, simply, Southern women are caretakers.
There are other defining attributes, some more quantifiable than others. Southern women know how to bake a funeral casserole and why you should. Southern women know how to make other women feel pretty. Southern women like men and allow them to stay men. Southern women are not afraid to dance. Southern women know you can’t outrun your past, that manners count, and that your mother deserves a phone call every Sunday. Southern women can say more with a cut of their eyes than a whole debate club’s worth of speeches. Southern women know the value of a stiff drink, among other things.
I want my children to know they belong to something bigger than themselves. That they are unique, but they are not alone. That there is continuity where they come from. Comfort too. That there are rules worth following and expectations worth trying to meet, even if you fail. If nothing else, I want them to know how to make biscuits. And to not feel bad about eating a whole heaping plate of them.
Because before I know it, my girls will be grown. And they will be Southern women too. And that, I believe, will have made all the difference."
-Allison Glock, Aug/Sept issue of Garden and Gun magazine


 Since I was old enough or maybe not to wear makeup, I haven't  been anywhere, including the garbage can without my hair fixed and my makeup on.......
And a few things other things.......first, I didn't give birth to girls........but boys, you should look for a good, Southern (or at least Southern at heart) , Christian girl.

Southern women also don't hesitate to get into the private space of an obviously pregnant woman to feel their belly.  Or to give advice. Or to just talk to a stranger in the grocery store.....and give them advice. I have seen on Facebook that many of the young women/mothers today don't really like the actions of older Southern women.  Well, that's just silly!  Bless your hearts, we just want to help and give you a little advice!



11 comments:

Deb said...

southern women are a breed of their own...and Texas women are too...

Loui♥ said...

Nancy..
delightful..
above all, we are gracious!
and ever so Charming!!
My "Southerness" has seen me through MANY trying and difficult times..
warmest hugs!
Loui♥

Barbara said...

Nancy, I think your mother-in-law, my friend, Mary Catherine, is the quintessential Southern woman. She always looks put together, she is polite, courteous, and ALWAYS is thinking and doing for others. She is a wonderful cook and baker! She is probably 30 years older than me, but she stays busier than me! I aspire to be just like her one day.

nancygrayce said...

Barbara, you are exactly right!! She is a real southern lady! And she can outdo me in the energy arena any day of the week! Plus she's the best MIL in America!

Sweet Tea said...

Preach on, Sistah!
And Southern women simply say what "polite company" wishes they had the nerve to say.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That was a great read. Thank you for sharing it with me. Sounds to me that a Southern girl is really a special person to be.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

I like the idea of it being part of a tradition, a continuation!

Cathy said...

You need to do some blogging....folks are going into withdrawal!!!

My Inner Chick said...

Spanx, Aqua Net, & beautiful hair. I'm not a Southern Woman, but I couldn't agree more! :)

Tonja said...

love this post! and it is all so true! my mom knew just what was appropriate to take to each kind of function she went to. And, yes, we all do have good advice...and others would be wise to heed it!

Sorry you are having trouble commenting...I've got Ian looking into it.

LBDDiaries said...

She wrote this for "Garden and GUN? magazine" - that's Southern, too! Of course now you have to give the explanation for "Bless your heart" - so funny! I may not have been born or raised Southern but I've lived in the South long enough to be an adopted one!! LOVED this.