Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Oops! I forgot to say that I'm flying out to San Diego, CA for my grandson and granddaughter's birthdays. They were sweet enough to be born in the same month so I can celebrate with both!

While, I'm on the subject, I've just been did I get grandchildren 12 and 16 years old??? What happened? Was I looking the other way?? Am I getting old????

No, that can't be it.

The tickets are officially bought. My sister is going with me.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Hearing aids anyone?

Honestly, I thought I would just throw in some results of my craziness which include not being able to hear! My granddaughter will be 16 the end of June And I'm flying out to be there!!!! I am so excited. We had planned an R.V. trip out in July but with Russell's dad being so sick, we decided that needed to wait. I was really down because I really wanted to go see them. So my sister and I are flying out...I can't wait!!

Today I called my daughter in law at work to ask her what would be something special for Ashley's 16th birthday that she could keep forever as a memory.

ME: Any Ideas?

Maria: She's always wanted a rocket.

Me: A what?

Maria: A rocket, the ones you put pictures in....

Me. I'm thinking to myself a time capsule??? Totally confused.

Maria: yes, she said she should have been born in another generation because she likes the old fashioned stuff, like the locket.

LOCKET......oh, I see. Whew, it was going to be tough getting a rocket past security! Now I just have to find the perfect locket!

Any great ideas???

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Not Gone for Good.....

I haven't disappeared for good, but things are just too hard and complicated right now. You all know how completely candid I am, but I need to be quiet right now. We are trying to spend as much time as possible with Russell's dad and my son is a whole nother story......the never ending story. So today I just feel sick and sad and I'm not sure what else!

Keep praying for us.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Snakes Alive!

My mother has a horrible fear of snakes. As a child she was in a boat with her daddy and a snake fell in the boat with them! She hates snakes to this day. I'm not sure that can be a genetic thing.

I hate snakes because when I got home this afternoon and went out my back door to let the dogs out, a BIG BLACK SNAKE , I mean humongous, no really, almost as big as me ,ran across my feet! My newly pedicured feet! I screamed bloody murder and jumped almost to the roof, screamed again at the dogs to come back and ran in the house. I sure hope they don't need to go out again before their daddy gets home. I am still shaking. Later I asked my neighbor if he heard me screaming and he said no, so I now know that whatever happens in my backyard stays in my backyard.

I had been with papa (pronounced just for your interest) pawpaw...most of the day and when I left I called a friend and said do you want to get a pedicure. After a little arm twisting, I kid, she had a gift certificate, she agreed and we went to the mall. I hardly ever get a pedicure, so it is a great relaxation for me. Then that dumb snake had to ruin it for me!!

I mean ran across my feet! O.K. I know I've said that enough. Several years ago, a similar thing happened to me. I was fixing dinners at our church and had gone into the pantry and was reaching to get the key to the freezer and a rat ran down my arm! I still have heart palpitations thinking about it! So does one of our boys who happened to be standing beside me when I screamed and jumped back almost knocking him down!

Some post, I want to talk about normal. My friend says normal is a setting on the dryer, but surely there is a form of normal for each of us and I want it!!! But not tonight, tonight I'm drained from the day.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

If I Could Save Time In A Bottle....

My dil and fil toasting as we spent time with them today. We're spending lots of time with Russell's mom and dad these days. Each day it becomes very clear that his dad is growing weaker. He has lots of confusion. It's tough to see him this way. But he still has his very unique sense of humor. He injects it into a conversation when you least expect it!

We just save all this time in the bottles of our memory. Someday memories will be a blessing to our family. Proverbs 10:7

Truthfully, we are all making memories, good or bad, every day we live. We choose which ones to make. We choose to live lives that are productive and unselfish or not. But whatever we do, we make memories.

The above part of this post was written Sunday nite.....It is Monday now and I'm in between visits. Washing sheets and towels actually. Just an interesting little factoid for you!

The Hospice nurse came today and was very helpful in explaining things that we can expect in the future days. The other nite Russell and I were walking into Sam's Club to pick up some things. We were talking about his dad and this whole dying process. Russell (this is huge for him emotionally now) said, well we never expected to be having this conversation did we? I replied that no, we didn't, but now that we were, maybe we should talk about what we will do when that time comes.

Russell said, since God saved me and I'm strong in my faith, I am ready to go when He calls me. He then instructed me to be dignified and not to hold on to him if it was his time to go. We both agreed that we would try our best to make it a time that we would just enjoy each other as long as we could, but then let go. We know that when we die, we will "fly to Jesus" and live. Death is not our enemy. It is our first class ticket to heaven to be with the Lord forever!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Up and Down

Russell's dad is home again. He came home with hospice, but I'm not sure how long that will last. This is a very difficult transition period for my MIL. She is frightened (I believe ) of the many changes that are taking place. She's secure with the home health they had before this hospital visit and has already decided she doesn't like hospice. We are treading lightly and trying to just "be there". Of course, this is also about it being my DH's daddy so it is hard for him in so many ways. He's worried about his mama and sad about his daddy.

Almost 12 years ago, my daddy had a pleasant night, went home to bed and dropped dead. Shock! Oh, yes, horribly. But looking back, God was so merciful to us. No decisions had to be made, no indignity for daddy. It was a blessing. Very hard to lose him, but very blessed that he went the way he went.

Tax season is over for another year! That means I actually see my husband more! In real living self! We had planned a little motor home trip, but cancelled. We just don't want to get too far away right now. So after a couple crises, we drove over to Destin for a few hours. If you ever get there and go the The Grand Boulevard, a good place to eat is Cantina Laredo. We had a great lunch there and then shopped!!! I was itching to shop. A little retail therapy. Unfortunately I didn't get into a shoe store, but did get to Coldwater Creek and Chico's. Two of my favorites.

Today, I'm frantically cleaning house. Son and wife are coming tomorrow to visit with papa so I need for them to at least have clean sheets. :) Honestly, I've been gone so much that my cleaning schedule has gone out the window. So I'll be dusting, vacuuming and mopping until time to take my mother to the doctor.

See you all soon!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Well, we're back in the hospital with Russell's dad. Something we've dreaded since his diagnoses. He went in Thursday by ambulance not breathing well. He either has pneumonia or his cancer is on the move. He's awfully confused and my MIL and myself take turns staying with him. In everything, he still has his sense of humor. Some really cnfused moments, too.

So I'll be in and out until this stay is done! Thanks again for all of your support.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Thank you, thank you all!

This is how I have been feeling for several days a blank piece of paper. Almost with no feeling, except for a frozen feeling in my brain. Then yesterday I heard from my son. He's in jail. I knew he was but I hadn't talked to him. It was very hard. And I had to say no. No to helping pay bail to get out. Several years ago, I told him I wouldn't ever pay another bail. But believe me, they don't call it tough love for nothing. After I talked to him, tears began to flow like they haven't for a long time. My heart is broken. Not only for him, but especially for his children. He has a choice, they don't.

It's a struggle to know how to say thanks to so many women that I've never even seen (and 3 that I know of that read this that I have seen and know personally) and yet pray for the situations I have in my life. Thank you! Thank you that God gives each of you a measure of unselfish love to share your prayer time with my burdens.

Almost all of you have a burden of your own. Some much larger than mine and yet linked together we all petition God for each other. I have often prayed, "whatever it takes" I pray now that this is that whatever. But it's not the first time. I always pray it is the last.
Galatians 6:2 says this "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
So, thank you for helping carry my burdens.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?

Some of you may remember a song from the 60's by Jimmy Ruffin....What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?" Some of the lines of the song say things like the need to find peace of mind, I'll be searching everywhere.

Here are a few things that happen to the brokenhearted. They cry. They pray. They trust in the Lord with all their hearts, and lean not upon their on understanding.....Proverbs 3:5....because in their human hearts and minds, they do not understand.

They do not understand why their prodigal child who know what's right, chooses wrong. They do not know what should be said to the prodigal's growing children, your beloved grandchildren.

The MUST put on the full armor of God or they will go nuts. They MUST not trust in their imaginations and continually wonder not only what's happening, but what they could have done to make this turn out differently.

For more than half his life, my much loved child has been an addict. Sadly, the love of the drug is stronger than the love of his parents, his children, anyone who loves him. He seems to love the drug more.

What becomes of the brokenhearted? They live in homes like ours. They attempt to go about life with a smile, business as usual, but their child is never far from their minds. They pray. They are able to put their arms and hearts around other parents with similar problems.

They pray.

Friday, April 4, 2008

If you haven't seen this, please watch.

Most of us could have seen this coming. I don't watch a lot, but have noticed that since she began years ago, she has been lately awed by herself. If that makes sense.

I won't be watching her anymore. That might not hurt her, but it sure will help me.

Listen carefully to what both the author and she says. She says, "God is jealous of me?" I don't think so.

Then he says "He (assuming he means Jesus) says "you are the light." Well, the first thing you can notice is that he has obviously not read the Bible.

This is scary! Millions of people follow her every word.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Body of Christ

1 Corinthians 12:12 - 26

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body - Jews or Greeks, slaves or free - and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

In this chapter of our Bible study, we are talking about Church life. We were discussing people who are Christians but choose not to be members of a Church or move around to different Church's weekly. They say, I don't need the Church to worship. True enough. But Christ told us we are a body. Now, if the thumb decides to wander around for a few weeks, the hand is pretty much useless!

God knew we needed fellowship. He knew we would need to bear one another's burdens. These last few weeks in particular, I have been so grateful to be part of a body of prayers! To know that other Christians are approaching the throne of mercy for our family is so comforting.

So come on thumbs and toes, and eyes and ears and all the body, join together to be one in Christ Jesus. After all, it was His idea!

O. K. on a completely different subject! This morning I woke up to an obvious UTI ....OBVIOUS. I have been going to the same doctor for at least 14 years, so I called and asked if I could come in, give a urine sample and get a prescription. And could I do it fairly quickly since I am going to Bible study, my mother's home, my in law's home, and various other errands. I was informed that I was welcome to come in and give a specimen, but that if it was positive, I would have to sit for hours wait until the nurse practitioner could see me. This is my in law's doctor too so they really know the pressure (no pun intended) we have been under these last few weeks.

I'm not an unreasonable person, honestly, I'm not. If I had called and said I have chest pains and could they write me a prescription for nitro glycerin and they said I should see the doctor, I would understand perfectly. But if you're a woman and you've EVER had a UTI, you know what it is and you just need some medication!

Nevertheless....they wouldn't bend the rules for me. So I got some over the counter stuff and drank water all day...I'm floating now....and I'm better tonight. But I'm not over being mad. I probably will be tomorrow! I'm not good at holding a grudge, besides I'll need them again. SIGH.