Facing my giants......or how to handle anxiety or not...

I have anxiety issues.....I'm not proud of that fact, but it's the honest truth!

I had my pre op appointment Friday and it started off badly when the registrar told me my copay and then went downhill.  I could go on and on about why the health care system is b.r.o.k.e.n. but I will spare you my unkind thoughts and move right on to the nurses.

Nurse Ratched called me back first.....she's with anesthesiology.  Did anyone else call her Nurse Cratchet?  I always misunderstand names.

Anyway, she proceeded to ask me every single question that I had answered on the paperwork she had in front of her......but since I was scared to death of her a bit intimidated, I answered again, then explained to her my level of anxiety and informed her they might want to get my I.V. running with heavy drugs immediately when I walk in the door. She quite quickly put me in my place, all the while calling me ladybug, punkin and some other cute name that fails me at the moment.  

Next came Nurse Sweetness and Light who was ever so kind and suggested I memorize some scripture verses.  That's when I hung my head in shame and told her I know the verses and am a Christian and trust Him, but that He knew I was like this before the creation of the world!  She sweetly patted me on the arm and said she thought she would be in the surgery center that morning and would be sure to look for me.......code for avoid me like the plague!  I suggested that for the good of all concerned they let the Superhero be back with me as much as possible before and as soon as I'm awake.  

Fast forward to today (which is now yesterday) and after church the Superhero suggested we go to the beach to relax.  He packed the ice chest with everything we might possibly need and we headed off to a beach about 45 minutes from home.  

We had to travel through the air force base to get to the beach and passing by one stretch, there were signs every few feet that read ........

DANGER!  EXPLOSIVE DISPOSAL RANGE.  

We were talking about where the explosives might be disposed of in the woods there and I brought up the fact that there are hundreds of deer living on the base. We giggled at the thought of them randomly exploding as they stepped in the wrong places!  OK.....many of you won't find that humorous, but remember I was under a lot of stress and any laughter was good.  

We drove through a small town just past the base that has always been a sleepy little beach town.  Well.....no more!  Every possible parking place was being utilized and the beach was wall to wall people!  I was really shocked.  I guess I haven't been there in a few years.

We drove through and drove down to a stretch of beach called Cape San Blas.  We trekked down to the beach and set up our umbrellas and chairs.  The wind was blowing and it was cloudy and cool.  

We stayed until we were both cold and the yellow flies were buzzing around menacingly!  Then we took a ride and eventually drove back home.  Bless the Superhero's heart.......he's so thoughtful to try to help me relax when he knows I'm wound up like a coiled spring.  

We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place and I'm so thankful!  

It's Monday night now and tomorrow's the day of my surgery.  I've got a great surgeon and here's hoping he rested and relaxed over the weekend.  

It's Fridaaaaaaayyyyyyy......

Oh, the weeks just keep on rolling and I'm trying hard to keep up with the flow, but some days I'm swimming upstream!  But it's Friday and time for Friday Fragments where we dump the odds and ends of our brains.  Join Mrs. 4444 over at Half Past Kissing Time if you've got bits and pieces of your week floating around and need a place to dump them!

It's Memorial Day weekend and I just want to stop and thank the families of those who gave all so I can be free.  

I hope we all pause to remember the sacrifice of all those who go and especially those who have lost their sons, daughters, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters or friends to wars in all generations.  

Thank you.

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Two ladies are having 100th birthdays this month at the retirement center where my mama lives.  We will be attending the party for this one today!

V looks exactly like her picture!  She was either a model or a beauty queen or maybe both and still gets up and puts on her makeup, does her hair and dresses nicely.  She walks around with her walker and her butterfly clip in her hair and is just the sweetest little lady you will ever meet!  You can tell she was the belle of every ball!
Happy Birthday V!  

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I am late as usual today and need to get moving, so here is my last frag.....just to prove that I can fit both feet into my mouth and that I have no brain!  I got a call yesterday from a lady in our church asking us to be greeters for a Sunday in June.  During the course of the conversation, I said....how is Archie doing?.....she answered....well, he died in 2011!  I really thought about just hanging up and quietly disappearing, but instead apologized for my stupidity forgetfulness!  

Hope you all have a very memorable weekend!  

Shaking my head....

First, good news.....the past few days my mama has been much better!  I am praising God for that today and for each day she has a good day.  

I have to say that yesterday was the day from the Twilight Zone but of course that is lots of days around our little corner of the world.  Early afternoon, after running errands and thinking about cleaning house, I sat down for a long nap short rest.  The power went off just for a moment and came back on so I assumed all was well.  

I should insert here that we have an alarm system that the Superhero had installed when he built the house that is both a burglar alarm and a fire alarm.  We NEVER arm it.....in fact, it's a major pain the rear and I have no idea why anyone would want one, but we have it so there you go!

If you have one with a fire alarm, you know that if you burn something or grill with just the screen door closed and smoke fills the house, it goes off and calls the fire department.  Not that I ever burn anything, but it may or may not have caused a problem in the past and if the fire department gets a second false alarm, they charge a fee.  

The one time in the 17+ years I have lived here that we armed the burglar alarm, we set it off by forgetting and opening a door.  It went off another time all of it's own accord and was so loud we couldn't stand it but do you think ONE neighbor even walked out to see what was happening?  You guessed right.....not one!  Anyhow!  Lately, it has been calling in signals to the company that monitors our system even though it wasn't setting off bells and whistles at home.  So twice, the sheriff's department has come out to check......I might also insert here that we don't remember our password.

Back to my short rest......just as I settled in, the phone rang and the Superhero is calling to tell me the alarm company has called and a signal has gone out from our alarm system.  Since he doesn't know the password and neither do I, an unmarked sheriff's car drove up while we were on the phone. I walked out into the garage to tell the detective there were no problems here and since I'm officially the newly elected MOUTH OF THE SOUTH, I start telling him that all is well, but that I don't know the password.  The officer looks at me a little strangely as if he's thinking that's what all the burglars say.....and explains to me that he's actually looking for someone.  As I faint dead away, immediately rushing to the worst possible conclusion, he tells me that he's gotten a radio report that there is a woman wandering around the neighborhood who has been raped and was seen walking down our street.  Since an alarm signal came in at the same time, he stopped here in his search. 

I assured him that no one could come into our home without our unofficial alarm system (the dogs) going crazy, but he asked if he could walk around our yard.  I said of course, as he was getting his gun out of the car, and go back into the house just to take a look around in case the poor woman had come in and we missed her. 

As soon as I walked into the house another unmarked car and a marked car drove up and THREE more deputies are in my driveway!  So, certifiably crazy woman here walks out with my hands in the air before thinking to myself....you know, they might not have the same sense of humor you have and you are probably going to end up in handcuffs in the back of one of those cars.  So I nervously laugh as they tell me they got the alarm call and also the raped woman call.  I say everything is fine here and that another detective is walking around the yard.  

Thankfully, I didn't get arrested and one of the very nice deputies commented that at least I felt protected and that's true.  I seriously thought about asking if I could take their picture for my blog, but decided they might not appreciate that!  

Later in the day, I was thinking about the whole crazy ordeal and does it seem strange to anyone else that someone would pick a woman up who's all scratched up and says she's been raped and just drop her into a neighborhood?  I don't know if they ever found the woman or if the whole story was a fabrication some one called in as a prank.  If it was true, I hope they found her and if not shame on whoever called and isn't it a strange coincidence that our alarm sent a signal out at the same time they got that call???  

Just another day in Normal Land!  

Mother's Day 2013

Mother's Day 2013 finds new things going on in this mother's life.  I have a new grandson, a new grandson-in-law and a new greatgrandson.....he's actually my only great grandson....WOW, what a difference a year makes!  I am an incredibly blessed woman.

New grandson, John with big brother Charley

New great grandson, Liam

God has richly blessed me with four sons and their families!  I will just confess right now that I'm sure I made many mistakes raising my boys, but I hope they all know how much I love them and love them still.  If children came with instructions, it would just simplify things, don't you think?

After church, some of mama's kids took lunch to the retirement center both for mama and my sister's MIL Mary. Lunch was yummy and four of mama's six children were able to be with her.

Older brother, Tommy and his wife Lois with mama

Superhero and me with mama

Three of us with mama......before the fourth one got there...

Sister Debbie, her husband Mike and son Joshua with Mary

Brother, Michael sitting by mama.....he was busy eating and didn't look at the camera

Flowers from sister Cathy who was unable to be with us.  She had just gotten back from Ireland the day before, but I'm not jealous

Flowers from mama's niece, our cousin Ann

Our youngest brother and his family live in Texas and were unable to join us for the day.

I hope mama and Mary enjoyed lunch and spending time with children.  We feel very blessed to have our mothers.

When Debbie and family came by my house to say goodbye......they had been in town for the weekend.......she told me mama was confused.  So when my phone rang later in the day and it was mama, I won't say I was surprised, but rather dismayed.  Sometimes, mama gets confused and wants to go home......the retirement center is her home now and she's been very happy there for several years.  

Mama was very upset and agitated and asked me to come get her and take her home.  I tried explaining that she was home, but she was having none of that and asked me to come please.  So I went, stopping on the way to get her some nutty buddy ice cream cones.....appropriate huh?  

After I had been explaining to her over and over again that she was indeed home and sensing she was only becoming more and more frustrated, I asked her caregiver to please go get her supper.  She was hungry and I was praying food would calm her.....it always helps me!  I also gave her a sedative, which didn't seem to calm her a bit at the time.  We talked and talked and talked and talked...well you get the picture...and eventually she was a bit calmer and I told her I needed to go home.  She reluctantly agreed and I went home with a heavy heart praying she would have a good night.  

By morning she was better.......after one of these episodes, she sleeps most of the following day and today was no exception.  

I'm just praying she'll have a few good days now.  We all know these confusing times will come and go and are something we just have to help mama deal with and be there for her.

And now for a true confession on my part.  I'm deathly afraid scared that I'm going to be just like mama when I get older.  My grandmother did this same thing and it's scary!  Please don't think I'm thinking only about myself.....I have two sisters who could do this too.  Whoever said getting old isn't for sissies was exactly right on the money!  

We've been so blessed having mama.  She's such a wonderful mother, grandmother and great grandmother and has always given generously of her love and time to each one of her children.  I pray for her peace of mind in these years and that all her memories would make her feel joyful!

I hope you all had a wonderful mother's day and if you aren't a mother, I'm sure you've nurtured some children along the way and that counts!  

Friday's here again....

Friday's here again and I'm joining Mrs. 4444 for Friday Fragments.....go on over and see what's left in brains everywhere.  Go on.....there's just not much left in mine!  Note Mrs. 4444's (pronounced Mrs. Fours) has a new button and I've managed to post it on my blog!  

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There isn't much left of my brain this week so I've got precious little to frag about.....but here is all I've got......

Our little town has attracted the attention of a little group of haters that I'm sure you've all heard about from time to time in the news.  I have no idea how we attracted their attention, but if they were going to come they should have done it during spring break!  Anyhow.......many of us have decided to give them the silent treatment since, as my niece says......and I quote......, they are filthy attention wh****.  OK....I couldn't type that word on my family friendly blog!  You get the drift.  

One of our television stations has put out a notice that they won't be covering this dubious event, but apparently our newspaper didn't get the memo because they printed an article about it in today's paper.  Just so there is no question in your mind, even though this group uses the word church in their title, they are by no means representative of Christians.

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This has been a stressful week and really, which week hasn't been lately?  There has been a paperwork mix up that is going to be a royal pain to redo and I was recently standing in the lobby of the retirement center where my mama lives waiting to be seen and listening to a group from a local church having a sing a long.  I guess I use the word listen lightly.....my mind was a million miles away thinking about the problem at hand, but apparently I was staring a hole through the pianist.  He pointed at me and said "and what's YOUR favorite hymn?"  I pulled myself back to earth and said "Are you talking to me?"  He was.  My mind, previously crowded with anxious thoughts, went blank.  BLANK.  I know and love lots of hymns, but at that moment not ONE came to mind.  So I said....I'm sorry, but I'm drawing a blank.  

The next day I was having lunch with a friend who happens to be on staff at that very church and I mentioned the incident to her with instructions for her to tell the pianist that I should have said VICTORY IN JESUS because I sure did need it that very moment!  Or maybe I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR....see what I mean?  After I was out of his sight, I thought of every hymn in the book.....literally!  Such is my mind!

*****

Anyway since that's how this week is going and since I should at least pretend to be productive, I'll say have a great weekend friends!  

The weekend.....

There has been a lot of spam going around in the form of comments and I would like to suggest comment moderation if you're having a problem.  Comment moderation is simple and there is no word verification which everyone hates!  If you're on blogger, you can report it as spam, even though I haven't noticed it slowing down after reporting it numerous times.  Just a suggestion.

*****

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.  IT'S NOT FRIDAY AND I'M POSTING.  

I have to say I'm a little jealous of all you that have your grandchildren living nearby.  Mine all live away, some in the same state and some across the country and a great-grandchild in still another part of the country.  This weekend we took a road trip to see the two youngest grands who also happen to be the ones that live near enough to drive.  We took my MIL so she could spend time with them too.

It was a good time and I'll tell you in advance I won't post all 300+ pictures.  But a few seem to be in order so here we go.

This boy has really grown since we last saw him and he's so sweet and laid back!

We took Charley the movie Toy Story and after examining the box, he informed us it was scary!  We tried to convince him otherwise, but he wasn't buying that line.  It didn't help that Woody actually did look scared in the picture on the box.

Always a smile

Wanted to try some coke and it was spicy.  I think the sharp taste shocked Charley.

Pappy is so much fun to play with and Charley laughed and laughed

We took a visit to the park and Charley was all motion and is fearless when he plays

Pappy and Uncle Matt got in on the action

Daddy push me higher

Swinging looked like too much fun and these two had to try...

Trying to get a family photo....Daddy was trying to get Charley to look at Nana

They ran the whole track

This may be my favorite.....caught him mid jump on the balance beam

Funny story.....the dog The Superhero is holding is Mikey, but Charley calls him Michael.  We have no idea where he came up with that but it's so cute

The weekend was so nice, but Monday it was back home to normal land....not!  And lots of laundry!

The week has gone downhill since then in a big way!  A trip to the surgeon Tuesday confirmed that my gall bladder has to come out, so I'll be having surgery the end of the month.  Thankfully, the Superhero will take good care of his drama queen me and the doctor says the recovery is a snap.  

Today was no picnic either but for a different reason.  Thankfully, I read a devotion on Psalm 126 about joy and laughter.  It eased things considerable, well not really, but it helped.  

I was overjoyed at the news of the three young women and child rescued from their captor.  It is  hard to imagine ten years being held by a crazy psycho and I applaud the young woman who took a chance and the neighbor who helped her.  Good to hear good news.

I was appalled to listen to the Benghazi testimony today.  Enraged that those men were allowed to be butchered without an attempt by our government to help.  But the blatantly nonchalant attitude of some is what blew me away especially in light of the emotional, factual testimony and made me shake my head and wonder what is happening to our country.  

If there is anything left of my poor old brain, I'll see you all for Friday Fragments!  Have a good rest of your week

Friday Fragments....

Wow!  I guess I'm becoming a Friday only poster. It seems to be all I can do for now...

Anyway, if you have leftover stuff from your week that wasn't enough for an entire post OR Friday is the only post you're doing, join Mrs. 4444 over at Half Past Kissing Time and dump them out with the rest of us.

It's Thursday (I know I say that every week) and I am trying to get this finished so I can just hit publish tomorrow.  

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One of our sons and his wife had their second anniversary this week!  Happy Anniversary David and Arwen.....they had a sweet and fun wedding.

I like this picture!

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Speaking of anniversaries....today, May 2, is the 17th anniversary of my daddy's death.  Daddy was an extraordinarily special man and the rock of our family.  He had a dry sense of humor.....I can still hear him say to mama after her mother died.....well, Margaret, I guess this means we're orphans!  Daddy was 76 when he died and worked 6 days a week and went to church on Sunday.  He ate supper at our house the night before he died and was happy and talkative.... which was a little unusual.....he even hugged me as he was leaving and daddy wasn't a hugger.  He and mama went home, went to bed, he got up during the early, dark hours of the morning and dropped dead.  Although it was a shock and devastating at the time, we realize now it was merciful and the way he would have chosen to die.  But we all miss him every day, some days more than others.

I know this is picture overload, but I have noticed in pictures of me and daddy, I always have a hand on him......he made all of us feel safe and secure and taught us about our Lord and then led by example......he was just that special!  And yes, I know it's a crooked picture, but I don't have time to edit!

I just noticed that in the picture below he is looking at me like would you please let go!  :)

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This morning at 4:48 am....gotta love digital clocks.....the Superhero's phone rang and when he looked at the screen he was alarmed to see it was his mama.  In the course of three seconds, I came to every worst scenario possible.  

Turns out, our burglar alarm was sending out a signal to the alarm company and for some reason our phones wouldn't work.  I called today and asked them to take his mama off the contact list because she doesn't need to get a call at that time of the morning!

The Superhero decided to get up and it's a good thing as the police were at the door!  When they couldn't get through to us, they sent help.  Thankful we didn't need help!  Side note.....our alarm wasn't even turned on so their was a major malfunction.  Started our day off with some excitement!

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Today is the National Day of Prayer and I hope we all stop for a few minutes and pray for our country and leaders.

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I made a pound cake for a funeral lunch this week.....F.A.I.L. .....literally, I either make a beautiful pound cake or an ugly one and this one came out of the pan and all the side and bottom stuck and came off....it was horrible!  It was also the morning it needed to be at the church at 11:45 a.m.  The Superhero suggested I slice it and it wouldn't look so bad.....nope, that didn't work.  I froze each piece individually.  Then I went to work and made another one (miracle.....having an extra creme cheese in the fridge).  This one I prayed over and I'm not kidding.  I asked the Lord to make it come out right since it wasn't for us and it was beautiful!  Whew!

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Have a great weekend all.