Facing my giants......or how to handle anxiety or not...

I have anxiety issues.....I'm not proud of that fact, but it's the honest truth!

I had my pre op appointment Friday and it started off badly when the registrar told me my copay and then went downhill.  I could go on and on about why the health care system is b.r.o.k.e.n. but I will spare you my unkind thoughts and move right on to the nurses.

Nurse Ratched called me back first.....she's with anesthesiology.  Did anyone else call her Nurse Cratchet?  I always misunderstand names.

Anyway, she proceeded to ask me every single question that I had answered on the paperwork she had in front of her......but since I was scared to death of her a bit intimidated, I answered again, then explained to her my level of anxiety and informed her they might want to get my I.V. running with heavy drugs immediately when I walk in the door. She quite quickly put me in my place, all the while calling me ladybug, punkin and some other cute name that fails me at the moment.  

Next came Nurse Sweetness and Light who was ever so kind and suggested I memorize some scripture verses.  That's when I hung my head in shame and told her I know the verses and am a Christian and trust Him, but that He knew I was like this before the creation of the world!  She sweetly patted me on the arm and said she thought she would be in the surgery center that morning and would be sure to look for me.......code for avoid me like the plague!  I suggested that for the good of all concerned they let the Superhero be back with me as much as possible before and as soon as I'm awake.  

Fast forward to today (which is now yesterday) and after church the Superhero suggested we go to the beach to relax.  He packed the ice chest with everything we might possibly need and we headed off to a beach about 45 minutes from home.  

We had to travel through the air force base to get to the beach and passing by one stretch, there were signs every few feet that read ........

DANGER!  EXPLOSIVE DISPOSAL RANGE.  

We were talking about where the explosives might be disposed of in the woods there and I brought up the fact that there are hundreds of deer living on the base. We giggled at the thought of them randomly exploding as they stepped in the wrong places!  OK.....many of you won't find that humorous, but remember I was under a lot of stress and any laughter was good.  

We drove through a small town just past the base that has always been a sleepy little beach town.  Well.....no more!  Every possible parking place was being utilized and the beach was wall to wall people!  I was really shocked.  I guess I haven't been there in a few years.

We drove through and drove down to a stretch of beach called Cape San Blas.  We trekked down to the beach and set up our umbrellas and chairs.  The wind was blowing and it was cloudy and cool.  

We stayed until we were both cold and the yellow flies were buzzing around menacingly!  Then we took a ride and eventually drove back home.  Bless the Superhero's heart.......he's so thoughtful to try to help me relax when he knows I'm wound up like a coiled spring.  

We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place and I'm so thankful!  

It's Monday night now and tomorrow's the day of my surgery.  I've got a great surgeon and here's hoping he rested and relaxed over the weekend.