Tuesday, January 13, 2009

All Call for help.....or maybe just advice!

This is my mama. She lives in a beautiful assisted living facility and has her own two bedroom apartment with her own furniture so it is just like home. She's lived there for 4 years and has been so happy.

Her level of care has gone from needing a little help (which the CNA's that work there can provide) to needing help with most things (which is beyond the scope of their care).

She currently has around the clock caregivers, but it is draining her financially and at the rate she is spending money for care, she will only be able to live there about 1 more year.

We hope to find someone who is willing to live in and would have their own bedroom and all meals free and a small salary.

What I'm asking all of you, is have any of you been in this situation and what did you do to take care of your parent?

We have considered moving her in with one of us, but she would be so unhappy and none of us could care for her fulltime.

Her mind is very sharp, she has a wonderful sense of humor; her body is just deserting her. The cartilege in her shoulders is basically gone and her legs are weak. She walks only short distances now.

Any advice would be so appreciated along with your prayers for wisdom on the part of her children!


Sharon said...

My heart goes out to her, but my heart goes out to you just as much. I have been there and been through all of this with my husbands aunt. We kept her with us, she knew not to cook, this was when her mind was right, she could make toast in the toaster thats it. But when her mind started going we had to move her to nursing home. And then of course medicaid to over (or medicare)which ever. I would come home at lunch, and we just were there in the evenings.
I am praying for you all good luck it's never easy for sure.

Dawn said...

This is precisely we were a year ago with DC's mom. She and Dad had lived in an apartment like that in a wonderful facility for 5 years when Dad was beyond their help. So they moved into a tiny apartment in the assisted ed living section. Then he had to go to the nursing home and went home to heaven from there. She stayed in the little apartment for another year plus. She was worried about her money every day, even though it would have lasted another 3-4 years. DC's sister retired at just that time and invited her to live with them. I could not do it, but she is great with her mom and all the appointments and physical limitations. All are happy, as far as I can tell. Mom C took care of her mom for her last years in the very same way, so it's being paid forward for her now.

Needled Mom said...

I can sense your worry, Nancy. It is such a hard decision to have to make.

With my FIL we went through our church and found a wonderful man who came in and stayed with him for the last two years. We were so blessed that he was able to stay where he was and had such a caring person to watch over him.

Good luck in your search for answers.

nancygrayce said...

One thing I'm fortunate in is that I have siblings to help make decisions! Thanks all!

Connie said...

We arent there yet but getting close. I hope you can figure out a good solution for all of you. Connie

Keetha said...

This is such a hard decision. I've been waiting to see if you got some helpful advice. The only thing I wondered was if there was a "step-up" care unit from the assisted living.

My mom needed total care for over 30 years - - - but dad did it all. That isn't a very helpful suggestion in your situation.

There was only ever one man anything like my dad I'm sure.

I hope you'll let us know what you decide.

nancygrayce said...

Thanks to you all for your concern! No, no answers yet, but praying for one sooner rather than later! The assisted living place she lives in doesn't have a step up unit, so when people can't take care of themselves, they either have to have full time help or move out! How I wish they had that next step. We don't have anyplace here that has that next step....I know God has a plan!

Anonymous said...

Praying for you as you make this hard decision.
I lost my mom 3 years ago. She was only 65. It's terribly difficult where you are but I can tell how much you love her and feel sure whatever you decide will be the right thing. Prayers.