Saturday, July 5, 2008
California........Day 3 or was it 4???
My sister wrote notes each day about the things we did, and I sure wish I had them because the days are running together in my mind. I think this was day 3. It could very well be a combination of 2 days, since I had a big upset.
I was really excited and also nervous about seeing my son. We hadn't seen each other for several years and it was very good to see him that first night and the next morning.
Then it happened. There was a misunderstanding that really didn't even involve me, but in his mind, my son thought I was somehow at the root of this problem. There was a verbal blowout. Never, ever let anyone tell you that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you! Words can be terrible weapons. Kind of like weapons of mass destruction of the heart!
Sister and DIL tried telling me that it wasn't my son talking, it was the drugs, but I was looking at the baby I gave birth to and out of his mouth were coming words of great hurt. Some of them so crazy that I knew indeed that the drugs were a part of his thinking, but the hurt was no less.
The children were out of earshot and thankfully heard none of this, although I think they've heard enough.
Later that day, he did apologize by text message, (did I ever tell you I hate text messaging? For real!) adding the qualifier that he wasn't wrong but was sorry for his behavior. I'm very grateful that he apologized. I know that the Lord Jesus has to hear my apologies daily.
I know my son may read this so to him I say this, dear child, I am so sorry that you have so much anger inside. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for me, but most of all, I'm sorry for your children. I'm sorry that for 8 days in June, we couldn't just enjoy being together. My mind keeps returning to days when I would read to you "Gr**n E*ggs and H*m" and at the end, you would jump up and say "Read it again mama!" I cling to those memories.
I pray the Lord will change your heart. I pray you will be able to give up the drugs and be the man I know you can be, carrying out the plan God has for you.
I'm so glad we had this happy picture before things got so mixed up.
On a happier note, later that day, my sister, DIL and grandchildren drove over to a big outlet mall nearby. We did a little shopping, bought an outfit for everyone.
That night we ate at a really good Chinese restaurant we found while shopping at the outlets. I think it was called the Iron Wok. We got in and got seated when my sister said it was too cold for her at that table. We called the waitress and were moved into the buddha room. No kidding there was a huge buddha statue at the back of the room, with lots of candles burning. Can you believe I forgot my camera??? I was a little uncomfortable with buddha. My grandson soon discovered that we didn't have enough light and that when it got dark outside it would be us, the candles and buddha! We called our poor waitress yet again. I'm sure she was thinking they better leave me a really good tip! She got the manager and we were moved to the VIP section! The lighting was good, the temperature just right and the food......YUMMY! We got a much needed laugh and very full stomachs.
We got home and dropped into bed! Remember we were in a different time zone than we were used to!
Added note: Sometimes it may seem that I share things too personal. I don't want anyone to ever believe that as a Christian I have no problems! "In this world, you will have many troubles...." This is a promise Jesus gave us and I believe that even in our deepest sorrows, He is teaching us something that we can share with the world.