This is how I have been feeling for several days now....like a blank piece of paper. Almost with no feeling, except for a frozen feeling in my brain. Then yesterday I heard from my son. He's in jail. I knew he was but I hadn't talked to him. It was very hard. And I had to say no. No to helping pay bail to get out. Several years ago, I told him I wouldn't ever pay another bail. But believe me, they don't call it tough love for nothing. After I talked to him, tears began to flow like they haven't for a long time. My heart is broken. Not only for him, but especially for his children. He has a choice, they don't. It's a struggle to know how to say thanks to so many women that I've never even seen (and 3 that I know of that read this that I have seen and know personally) and yet pray for the situations I have in my life. Thank you! Thank you that God gives each of you a measure of unselfish love to share your prayer time with my burdens.
Almost all of you have a burden of your own. Some much larger than mine and yet linked together we all petition God for each other. I have often prayed, "whatever it takes"....so I pray now that this is that whatever. But it's not the first time. I always pray it is the last.
Galatians 6:2 says this "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
So, thank you for helping carry my burdens.
8 comments:
I just came over here from Tonja's blog. I can so relate to your pain and tears. It's really hard for me to be transparent about some of the things I carry because I'm always afraid that the ones who are causing the heaviness in my heart will read my blog.
Just know I understand and I care. Especially for those grandchildren.
I am SO sorry, Nancy. For all of you - and I know that "tough love" feeling. You want to just pick up your child and comfort them and fix everything for them. I had to go through that last summer with my daughter who was refusing help for her bipolar. When she went into the hospital under the Mental Health Act, we both lost all rights to her life. So I had to tell her she could not come home to live with me. The province would have to find her housing and help her out financially. Well, we managed to get through it and she now has her own apartment and is able to work 20 hours/week to augment her disability. She still struggles but is so much better now. It has done us both a world of good. Hopefully, and I sincerely pray this, your son will see the light and decide to swim rather than sink. Blessings!
I am so sorry that you, as a mother, and his family must live with the consequences of his choices. I pray each day that he will make the right choice for himself and each of you.
Nancy, I am so sorry. I know that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach. I know that place inside your brain that is screaming,"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" I know you want to run and grab him and hug him and make it all better. I know you want to turn him over your knee and give him the spanking of his life. I know you want to give him a swift kick in the pants. I know you want to hold him close and tell him how special he is and how dear he is to his family. I know how hard you want to shake him for what he is doing to the people who love him most. I know.
God has kept you on my heart all week. Several times a day you have come to mind and I have just sent up a prayer on your behalf,even though I have not known this was going on. God is just like that, isn't it? He knows we are kindred hearts in this matter.
I want to tell you again, because I think I have said it to you before, you are doing the right thing. It was not until we said, "No more, we are through." that the message finally sunk in. And it had to be everyone who loved him. And it is the hardest thing you will ever do. But, I truly believe that God will honor your attempts to help your son become that man God wants him to be. I believe He will keep him safe during this trial. I will pray for this with all my heart.
God is on His throne. He is the worker of miracles! He sees your son and desires only the best for him.
May you have peace tonight as you rest.
Tonja
Oh, Nancy, I am so sorry. I didn't make it over yesterday, but I will be praying now. Be tough. As you said, "They don't call it tough love for nothing!"
Bless you dear one. How your heart must break for your son. Tough love is truly that, tough. Stay strong, available, and in prayer for you son. With God there is always hope!
In Him,
Nancy
I read your blog from Tonja..I know this must be so hard for you. I will pray that you will find peace and strenght to keep doing the right thing. We want so much for our children ,but they have to travel the hard road by themselves until they find out that Jesus will travel it with them. Keep tough..Robin
I'll be keeping you and your entire family covered in prayer----I'll keep the night watch in Japan. Especially praying for the children.....and your mother's heart!
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