Monday, November 12, 2007

As my world turns....

I really don't know how people without the Lord live through days of crisis. These past few days have been a whirlwind of emotion, and may be for a while. Thursday nite I had a call from my son saying he was going to kill himself. Just as an aside, he is a veteran of the first Gulf War, since it is veteran's day. He didn't as far as I know...someone went to check on him and that's the last I've heard. I didn't sleep well that nite, but i didn't fall apart either. I just said "Lord, I know you are there and you are the only one who can save him from his destructive lifestyle." And I have to put my trust in Him, knowing that I can trust Him, even with my child's life.

Friday, I had that early dr. appt. then attended a luncheon....meant to rest in the afternoon but it just never happened. At 10 Friday nite, the retirement center my mother lives in called to say she had fallen and hit her head and what did I want them to do? ????? I jerked on some clothes, drove over to find her still on the floor. They were afraid to get her up because her blood pressure was sky high....I may have been foolish, but I had to get her I got down, had her put her arms around my neck and we struggled up and sat her down. She had a huge lump on the back of her head and was dizzy and nauseated, so they called the paramedics and I called my brother and away we went to the emergency room.....I don't know if any of you have ever been to the E.R. on Friday nite late, but it is not a pretty place! Thankfully, the scan of her brain was o.k. and now they are running lots of tests. Her blood pressure continues to fluctuate and stay high. I'm just praying she will get steady on her feet so she can return home.

So after a couple of sleepless nites, I'm home to sleep! Tomorrow we will deal with tomorrow.


Tonja said...

So sorry, my friend. I understand what that call feels like and the fear and trembling and gut wrenching agony that follows. I know that every ring of the phone is an invitation to dread and despair. And, I know that,as moms, we are helpless...God is the only hope and help for them. Placing them in His hands is the safest thing we can do. But, it doesn't always take care of your heartache. I have no words but these...God will move in His time, and the horror of these years will become a distant memory.

I pray for your Mom also.

Remember to take care of yourself in the midst of the turmoil.

emily said...

your mom must have read my blog because her visit to the ER sounds just like ethan's trip last week...

i'm glad you were able to be there for her. and praise God for His peace!!

now get that rest you were talking about.

Dawn said...

Good grief. I really feel for you when one crisis after another comes to plague! I can't believe they just left your mom on the floor. I guess they don't care call an ambulance without your approval??

I feel so bad for you and for your son. What a terrible phone call. I know, as Tonja said, how it feels to dread the phone ringing.

I edited my post today to include a wonderful devotional by Max Lucado. Come back by and read it - it spoke to me today. I also edited it to clarify that I wasn't taking pictures while I was driving! That wasn't clear originally, obviously!

Blessings, dear friend!

leslie said...

I'm so sorry to hear of what you're going through right now. I, too, had a call from my Dad's care home saying he'd fallen - turned out he broke his hip - and that time in the ER was traumatic for everyone. He ended up having surgery but only lived 2 weeks longer - it was just too much for his poor old body to take.

I've also been through suicidal times with my daughter - just last summer she was hospitalized for almost 2 months. But she's better now and seems to be coping.

I will pray for you all.