Since the advent of the digital camera in my everyday life, I have become a chronicler of my life and the lives of some that I love. I didn't realize it, I didn't plan it, it just happened. I take my camera almost everywhere. I keep it in my purse, unless it is charging or I forget it of course! Sometimes people sigh and seem to wish I would not keep snapping photos, but then love to see themselves later. So this weekend that is coming to an end tonight is the subject of my chronicling tonight.
Mama has had round the clock caregivers since she returned to the retirement center after her fall. This weekend my sisters and I stayed with mama to do some evaluating of our own. We wanted to determine in our minds if she is able to stay alone part of the time. Mama hates and yes I do mean hates having someone in her home every minute of the day and of course nobody blames her, but her safety has to come first.
I don't think any of the six of us ever thought we would be in this position and I know mama didn't. One day she told me she felt like she had lost all control of her own life, and it's true the reigns have slipped out of her hands and into her children's. It's hard, really, really hard. None of us would have applied for this job and none of us really want it, but here the reigns are in our hands and we have to guide her life in one direction or the other...
We made the best of things, our older brother spent most of the time with us, except nights. We took mama to visit her sister who is in a nursing home,out to lunch and to get a lift chair! The chair she needs because she shoulders and arms are so bad with arthritis that it's hard for her to get in and out and to lift the foot rest. The new chair and of course I did forget the camera in the store, is really neat. It's got electric controls that do everything for her and lifts her to a standing position when she needs to get up....which we wish was a LOT more often.
One of her friends visited and got in the pictures too!
I'm not sure we resolved any issues this weekend.....it was very stressful, very taxing on our muscles helping mama get around and very emotional. But issue resolved? Not yet.
2 comments:
Hi Nancy, I know exactly what you're going through. We had to help with our mother when she needed to spend some time in a care home (Alzheimers) and then after she was gone (02) kept an eye on Dad. He was on his own until last Jan. when 2 strokes nearly did him in, but they did force us to put him in a care facility, too. We knew everything he wanted and were able to carry out his wishes right to the end when he passed away in Sept. My heart goes out to you as you deal with this passage of both your Mother's and Your lives.
Thankyou Leslie! I guess as the "children" we just never expect to have to act like the parent to our parent!
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